Technology has made it too easy to spy on or track other people in our lives. Whether it’s our significant others, friends, or coworkers, it only requires minimal access to their phones for us to easily gain more information about who they’re contacting and what they’re accessing on the web. There are certainly instances where keeping tabs on a person is acceptable, but some websites are making it easier than ever for people to be controlling.
These websites provide apps and ways to spy on your spouse (or really anyone you’d like). https://catchcheatingspouse.net/ advertises a simple four step program. First you download the app, then choose a plan, track your spouse, and finally “ENJOY! Login and track a cheater.” Phrasing like this only adds to existing paranoia of the people that frequent these types of websites. It is not something for a person to enjoy or relish. In fact, it probably shouldn't be done at all. If someone is so insecure in their relationship that they need to spy, then the relationship isn't healthy.
If tracking software is installed on a phone, both parties should be aware of it. In some cases, it can foster trust and promote safety. Some areas can be dangerous, especially at night, so having your spouse know where you are is a smart idea. Also, after trust is broken in a relationship, if the guilty party offers their passwords and account information, the other spouse can periodically check to see the activity. Hopefully, over time, they will feel the need to check in less and less frequently as the trust is rebuilt in the relationship.
Generally, any secretive tracking or spy software, is harmful to a relationship. Not only are there ethical considerations, but it certainly means that one person is suspicious of the other. If there is suspicion, there is not trust. If there is insecurity, there is not love. While it is not uncommon to encounter issues in a relationship, spying is not the way to overcome them.
In most cases, spying indicates a deeper problem with the individual. This usually indicates the person is controlling, narcissistic, jealous, and could become violent. If the spouse tracking the other refuses to be tracked themselves, that is a huge red flag. This double standard will undoubtedly lead to more in the future.
While some may believe that wanting to spy on your spouse’s conversations is normal, it isn’t. In fact, it’s abuse. Everyone is entitled to privacy. If an abusive individual has bugged their spouse’s phone, that person has virtually no way of reaching out for help. They can’t talk on it or take it with them to go for help. They are isolated and alone – which was exactly what their abusive spouse wanted.
In general, don’t spy on your spouse. If you feel the need to track them, discuss it with them. They deserve to know.